Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Having bloggers block! UGH! I feel my adult ADD kicking in for some reason, my mind has a billion thoughts racing through it so fast I am unable to get them all down before they disappear into nothingness. Not sure what to write about today, any suggestions? I could write about our recent visitors, or the pending holidays and the fact I have zero shopping done, or my children, or the near accident I had on the ladder, or the fact I haven't had my does in with their fawns in a few days worries me that something has happened to them, or the rush of emotions that are about to come over me when my husband walks through the door tomorrow night after being gone for over a month. Bad grammar to have run on sentences I know. I could tell you my parents are coming up for Thanksgiving and this will be their first visit to our new home and the fact that I am more nervous for them to visit than I have been for any of our other visitors. Why? Well I don’t know why, my parents are not the judging type. I guess it’s because I speak so highly of what I call my own heaven and I hope they will think the same? Not sure, I am open to any of your thoughts on this, leave me a comment if you have any ideas of why I’d be nervous. None of them seem to jar the fingers enough to write. So I guess for today I may just ramble on and on about senseless things.
This one thought however is not senseless: I am one proud Momma!! All of my girls are doing awesome in school. Oldest Rie is carrying A’s in college!! Woot Woot!! And the Mare Bear and Pixie are both on the A/B HONOR ROLL for the first time!! Another Woot Woot, please? They are all good students and should be proud of themselves.
Then there is the dark cloud of sadness, wondering how my boy is, and wishing he would go to school and get an education to have a better chance at life, wishing he would talk to me or want to see me. Life choices is what that comes down to. I can’t write anymore about him today, sorry tears are rolling down my face. He is truly my only sadness. I miss my boy!
I was able to see a long time friend of mine when we visited Alpena. I miss her so much. She and her family helped me so much when I needed them. Hope to get to see her soon. Her new grand baby is precious. The Mare Bear and little Pixie visited some of their friends and family too. Shed a few tears too. It's so hard to see everyone in 2 short days but we crammed as much as we could into our time there.
We celebrated my Mom's birthday during that visit as well. She is now 67 years young and told me she wants a face lift for Christmas either that or don't take close up shots of her anymore. Also got some shots of all the girls with the baby! One though, makes me shutter. I don't want to see this one for a while, my oldest daughter holding a baby! Even though it's not hers, that's the site I can't bare to see anytime soon.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at Sweet pea’s Heaven. I have been busily putting up lights outside. Looks pretty darn good so far. I need more things to plug into though. That’s how I had the near accident with the tall ladder. I was doing something I probably shouldn’t have by myself. I have a grapevine wreath, up in the peak of the roof, that I took back down after Timothy was so kind in helping my get it back up. Well I got the idea of decorating it for Christmas. That won’t happen again! As I was trying to make sure it was secured, I leaned over too far on the ladder and it started to slide!! What was probably only 6 inches felt like 3 feet, it slid, I got a death grip with my fingernails into the cedar siding.. When I steadied the ladder back up where it shouldn’t slide, I exited the ladder shaking all the way, vowing I will never do that one again!! Next time I will heed my husbands warning of it being too dangerous and what if I fall who will take care of me and the kids!! Yesterday, staying on the ground, I went out and cut some more balsam tips , brought them in and decorated a little inside and out, add a little ribbon and pine cones, birds and walla (how do you spell that anyway?). I can hardly wait to get our tree up. It will be taller this year, yeah which means more lights and more decorations. Menard’s loves me. I wanted to get a real tree but I keep looking at one in Menard’s that looks so real and I wouldn’t have the mess of the needles. Decisions! Pictures will follow when I finally decide.
We are anxiously waiting for our big bear to come home. I long for the feel of his embrace, safe secure in his arms. The feeling it gives me is nothing I have ever felt before him, being in his arms makes everything alright. All my worries and problems seem to just disappear. The kisses that make me know how much he loves me, whoa the kisses! Hmm I think I better keep all these thoughts and feelings to myself. I love that man with all my heart and soul, we were meant to be together is all I will say. Maybe someday I will write how we met and all the emotions and other things but for today I will leave it alone.
The girls had their first sleepover. I forgot how giggly little girls are late at night. Last time I poked my head out of the door was sometime after 11(way past their and my bedtime), asking them to be quiet. I gave up and went to sleep, not sure how late they were up. Next day they were tired to say the least. Didn’t slow them down though. My brother and his wife came to check out the new house and visit with us. Last time they were suppose to visit they had a minor accident and couldn’t make it. They were riding through the U.P. on their Harley when a grouse flew up into his face. Not sure how he didn’t lay that bike down or worse, I guess all of his years riding experience paid off. He had cuts around his eye and a fractured eye shelf, took him a while to recover. So this time they were in their truck. They brought us a house warming gift that matches with our décor. The girls and their Aunt played with play dough making all kinds of things. Then the fun started, they all went swimming at the motel. I didn’t bring a suit, so I thought, I always carry one for tanning and forgot it was there till later in the evening. I was the photographer is what I told them. My camera is just not made for action shots and that’s something I need with 2 girls constantly on the go! One shot is just a reminder of what we will get to look at for the next few months, gray skies. I had a JD and coke, something I haven’t had in many years! Last time I drank that I ended up divorcing my first husband! Which by the way is good thing. I couldn’t even finish my drink, the taste was awful. Give me some wimpy Malibu Rum and Pepsi and I’m good. I just can’t handle that hard stuff anymore, kicks my butt!!! We had a wonderful dinner after the first round of swimming. The girls said the restaurant was fancy, which it was. Had linen table clothes, linen napkins, cups and saucers, water glasses, shiny silverware set in the correct spots, beautiful centerpieces and candlelit. They haven’t been to anything like that before. It reminded me of a restaurant my family went to on Saturday nights. My parents owned a ma & pa type general store for all of my growing up years and then some until they were forced to close due to lack of business. Some Saturday nights we would rush to the restaurant just before their cutoff for serving, just to eat a delicious steak, baked potato, French onion soup and warmed mini loaves of rye bread with real butter. Odd, can almost taste it 30 years later. After dinner the girls went swimming and we just sat and talked. Another late night.
Sunday night bedtime rolls around late again! UGH!! Mare Bear remembers she has homework! Stayed up to help her and finished around 10ish! They are off the rest of the week for the Thanksgiving holiday. Good thing, they can help me clean, vacuum and dust.
Here’s hoping you all have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!!! I hope to, it will be my first without my oldest baby being with us.